01/17/06

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Fed Up With Terrorism, Target Taunts Al Qaeda

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U.S. retail chain Target today unveiled a new marketing plan designed to taunt Al Qaeda. As part of its "Got Jets?" ad campaign, the company has begun painting bright red targets on the roofs of its stores. "We think the war on terror has gone on long enough," said a company spokesperson. "It's time that Al Qaeda put up or shut up."

The move appears likely to compound Al Qaeda's growing image problems. Without a successful mass murder since 2001, the group has had trouble retaining personnel. According to a recent survey in which disaffected religious zealots with no job prospects and anger management issues were asked what they planned to do with their lives, "join Al Qaeda" ranked fourth behind "stew in my bitterness," "get married so I have someone to oppress," and "look into farming poppies."

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