Marker Pens Banned
WASHINGTON (NOT) - Following revelations that Sony's CD-encryption technology can be defeated with a simple felt-tip marker, Senator Fritz Hollings announced today that he would introduce legislation to ban pens.
Although the text of the proposed law remains in flux while waiting for music industry campaign contribution checks to clear later in the week, sources close to the Senator suggest that the bill will be called the Proscription of Indelible Marker Peccadillos, or PIMP.
Music industry groups have been quick to praise the proposed legislation, but others have not been so enthusiastic.
Ellen Dyson, spokesperson for Pilot Pens, condemned PIMP as overly broad. "Despite its name, the bill makes no distinction between permanent and erasable pens, or even between ballpoint and felt-tip pens," she complained.
Pencils, however, are expected to be exempt from the ban.
Some music industry insiders contend PIMP isn't necessary. "The Digital Millennium Copyright Act already bans the production of any device that is primarily designed or produced for the purpose of circumventing a technological measure that effectively controls access to copyrighted content," said Sony corporate counsel Warren Haezlit. "While it's arguable that pens have other uses, such claims are increasingly suspect in today's digital world."
Haelzit noted that pens have long been a tool to pirate content, going back to the scriptoriums of medieval Europe where monks hand-copied books with impunity. "Frankly, pens have little to recommend them," he said. "It's time that we draw the line. Imagine how much easier life in Washington would be if the Constitution had been written in pencil."
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